Thursday 17 March 2016

Um, what?

There are some discount fabric stores in a sort of local distance from me called Len's Mills. It has a mishmash of weird items (mostly home sort of things) that I think are leftovers from other stores that this store then sells off. It is a jumbled mix of low quality things with the very odd addition of a fabric store in the back. The fabric section is equally bizarre- lots of low end and weird items mixed in with awesome finds like the occasional Cotton +Steel or OOP fabrics from Lizzy House. The prices are amazing, but you really have to hunt.

I ended up at one of these stores recently and had to take some picture of fabrics that made me say "Um what?" As in, how did these fabrics get made? Who thought "This is a great fabric! I'm sure there are so many great projects that people will want to make with this!"

This is the exterior of one of the locations. It is not  like it gives any indication as to what is inside!
Exhibit A: Spanish/English panels? Is this supposed to make a little book, or? And why is it in Southern Ontario? An odd, ugly bolt of fabric to be sure.
Not a lot of donkeys around here. And why do the children look deformed?

Exhibit B: This terrifying frog watching you from this bolt while wearing his chef hat. Who is buying this fabric?? For what purpose? Maybe you are looking for fabric with a french chef frog. But a terrifying one like this guy? *shudder*
 I think this frog has been into the wine.
Exhibit C: Religious fabric with what I presume is the Virgin Mary. What is getting made with this fabric? Is there a religious grandma somewhere who really likes the Blessed Mother to be on her quilts? And in these colours? I don't get it.

These are huge, too. So, giant Virgin Marys. For some reason.
Exhibit D: Patriotic AND ugly. Okay, so this store gets overstock from the United States, obviously. Because this patriotic little girl is probably not a big seller in Canada. But even if this was in the United States, what project is this fabric involved with? Why do you need giant American flag makers on your quilt? Help me understand a situation when this would be the obvious choice of fabric.
Couldn't they make this fabric just slightly more American?
The friend I was shopping with found this shiny monstrosity, which I will call Exhibit E. Um, what? Who is wearing this fabric? Or curtains maybe? Is it sheer. And gold. And purple. And scratchy. And explain why this would ever be a good choice?
All of this ugly fabric was matched by some ugly wool I found:
When, WHEN is this a good colour combination? No. Just no.
Now, some of the intentional ugly and cheesy fabric is awesome. Like Exhibit F: Super awesome Star Trek the Next Generation fabric. I kind of wanted one. But I couldn't imagine this in a quilt. Like, ever.
Must be season one if Tasha Yarr is there.
I did manage to find some fabrics worth purchasing:
Those Star Wars fabrics are for an upcoming quilt for a kid, and those typewriters were calling me. That Robert Kaufman fabric is too cute and was pretty darn cheap.

So, explain to me. How do some of these fabrics get made? When would they ever look good?

P.S. Here are some bonus fabrics that I simply cannot imagine in anything attractive, courtesy of the Sale section of a LQS.
Um, for your farmer friend?
For people who really, really like broccoli?


  1. I was making fun of the realistic food fabric at a LQS about a year ago and one of the ladies who worked there came up to me and said she didn't get it either, but they're such big sellers they always have a big selection and they try to hide it in the back so it doesn't make the rest of the shoppers think that's the kind of stuff they sell. It made me laugh anyway :D (She thought it was mostly non-quilters wanting to make aprons/pot holders etc. more than anything else.)

  2. that really scary frog is distracting from the woodland creatures LV that I have bought a few times and still covet

  3. I have been to a few different Len's Mill stores and have often wondered why anyone would have ever made the decision to print some of those fabrics, as you say ugly.

  4. Some scary glad that you were able to find some good fabrics.

  5. Oh Lord. The fabric gods were not smiling on whomever does the purchasing for that shop. And I am horrified to say that I might have fabric in my stash that would coordinate with the corn and broccoli. Does it make it better that it was a gift? Thank you for this post... I needed a smile!